Willpower

Menifee FitClub at a Bowling outing. I'm standing beside Will (black & yellow shirt) and Steve is on the left (gray shirt)

The definition of willpower is self-discipline, training and control of oneself and one's conduct, usually for personal improvement.

"One more for Will! Give me one more!" Will shouted and I struggled and whimpered in pain.

I wondered what made me think I could keep up in Menifee FitClub, a bootcamp fitness class. Steve had joined a few months earlier. When I had first separated from my ex husband, Steve encouraged me to join him with his workout.

A former drill seargent for the U.S. Army, our instructor Will, a stout, thick, tough man, would shout at us like new recruits. He laughed at me when I whimpered, pushing me to try harder than I believed I was capable of doing.


I believed Will lacked compassion for my health issues. I believed he was smug and condescending and I began to loath him with a seething hate after each day at FitClub. After three months I couldn't take it anymore so I quit the class and joined another gym. I wasn't going to allow myself to quit working out, just move away from a situation that I could not handle emotionally.

Looking back I realize Will struck a chord in me that reminded me of the husband I was divorcing. The misguided resentment I was feeling for my husband was probably getting heaped upon Will.

Years later I can hear Will's voice in my head when I struggle. Not just in the gym, but in times when I feel I'm at my limit.

"Give me one more! ONE MORE!"

As a result I've learned to push myself harder in life. One more push up, one more lift, one more mile, one more hour, one more. . . Will brought out in me an inner warrior that I didn't know was there. While I made the mistake of fighting against him and having little faith in myself, the warrior grew within me nevertheless.

I no longer loathe Will and find I am very grateful for him. I'm so lucky he came along in my life when he did. I was wrong to believe he lacked compassion. He believed in me in a way that I could not believe in myself.

Since that time I've done extraordinary things. I've ridden my own motorcycle 50,000 miles in 2 1/2 years, pushing through incredible weather and emotional trials. As a result I've learned I'm a tougher person that I ever dreamed possible.

I still hit the gym often and think of Will when I do. I still give Will one more rep with the weights, one more push up, 5 more minutes on the cardio, one more squat, etc.

"You can do it! Give me one more!" he shouts in my mind.

We all have people in our lives like Will. Someone who pushes us, believes in us, and irritates us because they see something in us that we don't realize is there. Even though my time with Will was short, his impact on my life has been enormous.

The recovery from my recent surgery has been much tougher than I thought it would be. I expected to be ready to ride after only two weeks, but that didn't happen. After a month, I am finally ready to ride, but my motorcycle is not. After the month of neglect, my battery died. Today I'll be getting it running again and take her for a ride.

During my downtime I became increasingly frustrated with my body and the healing process. But I am still pushing, still fighting, still getting there. Thanks to Will I've learned that I'm still a warrior, even when I don't feel like one. It's just a matter of digging deep and pushing harder.

Add a little fuel to my bank account. My ebook, "Rude Biker Chick: Lessons From My Daddy" is available for purchase here. If not for you, buy a copy for a friend. The woman in your life will love you for it. Thanks!