Spoiling my Future

I smiled at the man I passed in Starbucks. He smiled oddly back at me.

"I just talked to him last week in here. Why did he smile so weird at me?" I wondered.

Then I realized, the man I had spoken to was in Starbucks in Tucson, AZ. Today I am in Albuquerque, NM. And that wasn't last week. It was over two weeks ago.

Everyday I wake up and ask myself three questions. Is Highway next to me? What time is it? Where am I? I rarely think about what day of the week it is, or what the date is, unless I need money. Then I wonder whether I've billed our advertisers this month or not. From time to time I walk out of our motel room and am surprised to realize I'm not where I thought I was.

On this trip somethings seem consistent. Highway, Starbucks, my personal belongings. I'm tired of the clothes I've brought, but seem to care less and less about what I wear. Everything I carry around with me must be functional, in more ways than one, or I don't have room for it. But everything else seems to change. The faces, the food, the roads, the weather. . .

Two years ago I went to New York City for the first time. Highway and I spent a week in Manhattan, eating, walking, sightseeing, and falling in love. I tried hot pastrami for the first time in my life at Carnegie Deli. Of course it was ridiculously delicious. I've been told that I'm spoiled for life now, because after having the very best hot pastrami in the world, I will always be disappointed when I eat it elsewhere.

This has proven to be true.

I'm starting to embrace this lifestyle of moving, sleeping, eating, riding, working, sightseeing and meeting people. It feels fun and exciting, yet comfortable, like my favorite jeans. Getting up out of bed in the morning is a treat, planning my work, then seeing where the day takes us. I have no meetings, no appointments, no to-do list, outside of running my business. I'm floating, like a leaf on the river.

I wonder if I'm spoiling myself for ever having a home again.

I wonder if I care.

I wonder why I would. I'm so content, right here, right now.

Scarlet O'hara's final line in Gone With The Wind comes to mind.

"I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."